I have never been more supportive of reproductive health accessibility, including abortion services, until I became a mom. To some that may seem counter intuitive. I’ve had many a conversation around abortion where I’d often been told “you’ll feel differently once you have kids.” It’s actually quite the opposite. By all metrics, I did everything “right.” I waited to have kids until I finished school, got established in my career, got married, and owned a house. Our daughter was planned and my pregnancy was largely textbook, minus some blood pressure issues towards the end. I was basically as prepared as I possibly could be. 

And I still hated being pregnant. 

Pregnancy varies person to person. Some people love being pregnant or feel at their best when they are carrying a child. That is not the case for me. I feel like I’m operating on 30% capacity, which can be extremely debilitating. It affects my ability to complete tasks, not just physically, but mentally as well. I am very lucky to be in a position in life where I have a strong support system to help me, and I have a flexible job that does not require my physical presence 8am-5pm Monday-Friday. I recognize this is a luxury most do not enjoy, however. I also recognize people can and do have even more difficult pregnancies. This should not be a condition that any individuals are forced to endure.  

I had my daughter before the 2022 Dobbs U.S Supreme Court decision that severely rolled back access to abortion, so I didn’t really have to think about the “what ifs” during my pregnancy. I am currently pregnant with my second and while I am so excited to grow my family, I have found myself multiple times during this pregnancy wondering “what if?”

I found out I was pregnant at the end of last year. I had already seen stories of women experiencing miscarriages who were forced to bleed out, dying in hospital parking lots because of restrictive abortion laws. Miscarriage rates are higher than most people realize, with an estimated 1 in 4 pregnancies ending with a miscarriage. As holiday travel neared, I was googling abortion laws in every state I was visiting. I felt like I needed to be prepared, just in case. 

Even here in North Carolina, our abortion laws have changed drastically since my first pregnancy, with 2023’s (S20) law that introduced a 12-week ban. I was looking at statutes trying to determine “Would I be able to receive care if I was miscarrying? What if my baby had a condition incompatible with life, would I have a choice in how to proceed? What if my life was at risk due to pregnancy, would there be an option for me?” I was and continue to be floored that in the year 2025, I’m having to read state statutes about abortion care before I travel to a state. 

I love being a mom - there truly is nothing that comes close. But that is a decision I got to make freely, willingly, and when I was ready. It was my decision. Not some random politician, often a man, at the statehouse, or six aloof Justices at the Supreme Court. It was and should be a personal decision.  As we approach Mother’s Day, it saddens me that increasingly women are not being given that ability to make this most personal decision. That choice is now being made for them. 

As a mom I want my daughter to live in a world where she is not forced to abandon her bodily autonomy to carry a pregnancy. I want her to live in a world where birth control is not only readily available, but accessible to her, regardless of what state she chooses to live in.  If she chooses to have a child, I want her to not have to worry about how her reproductive health access may change if she chooses to travel out of state. If being a mom has taught me anything, it’s that preparation is key. The best way to stay informed of not only what the laws currently say, but what conversations are being had around those laws, is to follow and support state level organizations like Pro-Choice North Carolina. We all deserve to live in a world that respects reproductive freedom and bodily autonomy for all.

Jordin Dickerson is a member of the Pro-Choice North Carolina Foundation Board.